it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
