Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
It's shark week go big or go home
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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