so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
