walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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