So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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