we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize