I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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