what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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