Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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