I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
