i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Alive.
So much puke
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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