thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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