Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
