thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
