i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
