It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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