my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
