He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
