when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
