I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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