how can u be prego again
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
