I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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