I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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