I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize