there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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