that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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