We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
this just has baby written all over it
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize