Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The air was thick with penises
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
