You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
