Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
