I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
