the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
