Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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