just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
