You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I currently don't understand fingers.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
