why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
