I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
