just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
