so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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