I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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