So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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