Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
