Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
