I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Be still, my beating vagina.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
