Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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