69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
