If i come over, it means nothing
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
