I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
