just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
