Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
then he tried to convert me to islam
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
