if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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