I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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