you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
