when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
