I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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