he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
