So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
