I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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