seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
