I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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