Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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