you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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