Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
