i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
