She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize