So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
