So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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