This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It all started with a game of naked twister.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
