I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My Higher Power is John Stamos
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
