I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
