dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
